Today, our two guinea pigs died. I returned from work to find my son crying and in need of comfort. He discovered the guinea pigs dead in their cage. I sat with him, put my arm around him and together mom and I comforted him.
Sydney was at a friend's house.
His sad little face, his tears. A day that you know is coming the moment the family decides to get a pet, and after all, death is part of the process of owning a pet.
I told him it was okay to be sad, and that maybe a funeral would help us to say goodbye. He perked up at the idea of being able to say a few words.
So in the pouring rain, we went out, made a grave marker, dug the graves, and held a service in our back yard. Grieving doesn't wait for weather.
"I'll talk the most since I loved them the most", he said.
Oddly though, it was Sydney who played with them the most.
We told Sydney the news, and then had a little burial ceremony in back. Calvin is pretty broken up about it.
It is always heartbreaking to see your kids that sad, but you know that it is also a good opportunity to discuss death, and goodbyes, and sorrow, and grieving.
We think that the guinea pigs ate something that was poisonous to them, as the day before the kids were feeding them all kinds of pickings from different plants.
They are forever immortalized however in our guinea pig movie, so the kids can look on them fondly.
In my eyes, this is a blessing because I had recently been wondering how prepared my kids are for loss, and this is a good opportunity to talk it out. Kendal's eyes are teary when I look at her, because seeing her children like this, breaks her heart.
After the funeral they are perked up a bit, still sad, but not as much as before. We'll talk more about it at dinner.
Sydney said "I'm sad."
me "it's sad when pets go away"
Sydney "I'm not sad because of that, I'm sad because it's my fault, I fed them the red leaves."
me "they have a good word for something that happens that you didn't meant to happen, it's called an accident, and it wasn't your fault, or Calvin's, you weren't trying to kill them. Besides we don't know that is why they died."
She seemed to feel better after that.
This may sound callous, but as a dad, these moments, where you can comfort your children, offer guidance, they come to you for help and consolation..... these are cherished moments, and while I wouldn't have them suffer if I could have stopped it, I am glad I was home to be there with them.
R.I.P. Bullet
R.I.P. Stripes
---Words spoken at funeral---
Calvin - "Bullet was my birthday present, and I'm sad he died. He was my favorite pet in the whole world. Goodbye Bullet."
Sydney and mommy abstained.
Dad - "You came to us in a box, and you left us in a box. You lived side by side and you died side by side. And while it saddens us to see you go, we'll remember you both for the movie stars that you were."
brief prayer
"Thank you God for giving us two friends like Bullet and Stripes for as long as You did. We're sad they are gone, but we know it is okay to be sad sometimes. Help our hearts to heal, and thank you for our friends."
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Follow up
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Today we received a package from our friends at Devoted. We were not expecting a second package full of Christmas presents.
We decided at lunch to keep the presents for after dinner.
When Calvin said, "he was the best present I ever got." I said, "well tonight we have some presents we can open, and I'm pretty sure none of them are alive so they can't die."
As soon as I said it, I realized it wasn't as comforting as I meant to be.
But, after opening the presents after dinner, the kids perked up a little more.
So thank you to our friends and to God for the well timed gifts.
