I learned something new today about PNG culture. They are naturally multiplex relationship oriented. Simplex would be the typical American. We usually relate to people in 1 way. Seller/buy.. employer/employee. Multiplex would be if you were working with your friend. Now you're friends AND co-workers. Or your brother.. brother/co-workers.
Westerners tend to isolate and keep things simplex. You hire someone to do a job. You don't necessarily bond to them in other ways.
Papua New Guineans naturally are multiplex. So they can't help but try to establish as many ties and bonds to you as possible once an initial relationship is created.
Today that became true as a man and his father came in to get their hf-email working.
I spent ten minutes working on it, and fixed it.
Then the next 20 minutes we talked about his work, and his father, and his father's father. I met his dad, who has been in Bible Translation since 1956. I learned about his brother who stopped working in translation, and his grandfather who was working in it. How he is a third generation translator. He thanked me for my help and told me what a blessing I was.
And we talked and talked, until it was time to go.
I enjoy that. I felt honored first that he would let me get to know him like that... because for us, who simplex relate... he was a customer, I was cordial to him, but we were also co-workers... to him, to NOT relate like that would be a chore.
To me, relating like that takes energy.
It is a subtle but very interesting cultural difference. At times it can appear clingy or needy to us, but if we embrace it, we can really be blessed by getting to know people a lot more deeply.
Even with the ex-pats here on centre, we have multiplex relationships as we all live, work, eat together in the same environment.
I find this a huge blessing as it seems more close to what God intended. Daily I have fewer one-touch relationships.
I very rarely have the 30 second interchange with someone, like a cashier at a store. I stop, greet someone by name, ask them how they are and so on.
It is an interesting and stretching part of living here, because the flip side is that it very very hard to remain anonymous. Each passing year you get to know people just a little bit better. And for those who don't enjoy being 'known' it is a challenge.
Me however, I enjoy slowly sharing some of my talents and skills and using them. And I enjoy getting to know people closely.
I heard once that many people feel their college years were the closest relationships they ever made. I still believe that, but I can see myself in the future, comparing this place to college in terms of relationships.
