one of our assignments during our intercultural training, is to attend an "ethnic" church. Our family assignment was a local Baptist church. We entered as the only white skinned people in the church.
I should start by saying, I absolutely loved it!
The approach I am taking to developing a relationship would be first, to be seen, to be known, and to participate. I entered the church with my family with the attitude of being involved, and I believe a smile, a good attitude and humility can go a long way to fitting in. I didn't approach with the idea that I knew anything, and that I would suspect judgement on everything I saw until I could come to a conclusion with enough data on it. I greeted people I met with a smile, and if they offered their hand I shook it. I found it a welcoming place and I enjoyed the service greatly.
I was looking for ways to serve the church specifically during announcements. Honestly I didn't see any multimedia involved and therefore instantly realized my technical skills would not be helpful in serving. So I listened for other areas. One announcement was that there was a canned food drive coming up and they would appreciate contributions. That is a very easy way that I can demonstrate my desire to serve. Until I find out their need though, it'll be hard to find a deeper way to serve.
I observed many things using the attitude that my learning is my responsibility. I noticed the women wore very decorative hats. This is something that I am not used to and I found it very pleasant. I think my new favorite word is "glory" as pronounced by the Reverend Johnson. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire service. It has been a long while since I've enjoyed going to church that immensely. I enjoyed the flow of the service, the way that singing, praising, worship, thankfulness and prayer intermingled in a community sharing way. It was all I could do to keep from embarrassing myself by belting out an Amen here or there. I felt controlling myself until I got the flow of the service was the best idea, but by the end I was quietly muttering my "Amen"s.
I enjoyed how the reverend took the time to pray before his sermon quietly as the choir led us in song. Regardless of the pomp, I felt he had the time to truly seek out what the Spirit would have him say. Ironically, the two main themes of the sermon were seemingly directed at me. The symbolic theme of "shoes" was humorous since I had forgotten my nice dress shoes and socks and was thinking "I was hoping this whole morning no one would look down at my shoes". The second "faithfulness" echoes something I had recently blogged, and that is "God is faithful to us, but He asks us to be faithful to Him." At a time when I feel God's faithfulness is at an all time high to my family, and I've been encouraged to be faithful in return by my personal study, I realize, that the emotional approach to this service gave me an experience that will fortify me to stand strong for God in the near future.
There was one brief moment of culture shock and that was it. When we sat down, my daughter said "why is everyone wearing black?" And then my son said, in earshot of everyone near us "black is the worst color." My thoughts were, "oh please son, they're gonna think you got that from your daddy." Graciously God allowed him to continue, "because it covers up all the other colors they're wearing." The lady in front of us turned around and said to my children, "See honey, I'm wearing green underneath." It was a good moment. In California, everyone is very worried about being politically correct. But in this church, one lady took an innocent comment as jsut that, an innocent comment. My children don't see skin color, and she knew it. They saw coat color. They saw they were in red and white and pink and no one else was. God bless them. Between my shoes and that comment I could have been very nervous, but I wasn't, and that's because I felt the Spirit of God in that place.
After the service we shared our observations. My wife noted that in some ways the church was more formal than our Calvary home, in other ways less. For example, everyone wore suits, and the Reverend wore a robe, people were only permitted to enter during certain breaks if they were late. But on the other hand, people could sing out songs as they felt led, people could stand, sit, shout Amen, and hold hands during prayer.
My daughter asked "I didn't understand why they said "Amen" at the end of every sentence." I told her, "Amen" means I agree and that when the pastor ends a sentence with "AMEN?" he is inviting us to agree with him out loud about what he jsut said. He's saying "God is good, do you agree with me?" "AMEN! Yes we agree with you!"
She turned to my mom "hey mom, tonight we should have spaghetti, Amen?"
and my son replied "Tomorrow we should have pizza for dinner amen?"
At one point in the service, one of our co-visitors little boy wandered free up the isle, up in front of the reverend around towards the side and off into a corner. It was hilarious. A single little white child 4 years old wandering free, feeling no nervousness or lack of fitting in.
They called the children up so the Rev. could speak with them. My kids went up with only a small amount of prodding and then were guided off after the talk to their children's thing. They made friends in there pretty easily.
We were definitely aware that we didn't quite fit in completely, but we felt as if we belonged. It will take a few weeks to learn the traditions, but we'll get there. As we plan to return. The church was very friendly, and I think that feeling was much more not knowing the traditions of the church and much less the color of our skin.
