Yesterday our P.O.C. group threw a "We've been here a year!" potluck. Although we have been here almost a year an a half, we were still invited.
After the eating and socializing, the organizer asked everyone to share:
10 things you miss
10 things you are thankful for.
Kendal suggested also "10 things you thought you'd miss but don't".
For example "I thought I'd miss Starbucks, but I don't." was hers.
I was surprised by this because I hadn't read the email that told us to prepare, so I had to think quickly on the spot about these things.
Always at the top of my mind of things I miss, is family and friends. Things like "hot dogs, movie theatres, pavement" these don't come to mind very quickly because they are trivial but always whenever someone starts thinking about things they miss, the family and friends comes to mind.
Seeing ya'll babies born. Seeing your children grown. Nieces and nephews. Deep conversations and fun times with you all. Hugs.
Stuff like that.
There's a place in me that gets sad when I look at photos, and I let myself go there rarely but I do go there to remember.
So that is what we did this weekend.
One thing I shared with the group was how thankful we are to be here. Our needs are met, and many of our wants. And then I encouraged them with some good encouragement we received.
At the 1 year stage, around that time, there is a "wall". An emotional barrier of some kind that you hit that says "I don't like it here any more, I want to go home." I was warned about the wall by several people. It is as if the honeymoon suddenly ends, and you come to grips with the reality of living in a different culture. You get tired of the adjustment, and you feel like giving up.
I didn't expect we'd hit that wall because we were loving this place so much.
Everything about this place made us very happy.
And then, without warning, about 5 months ago, we hit the wall.
I remember conversations that are best kept private between my wife and I where we were both utterly discouraged.
Lack of close friends, frustration with the culture here, a desire to contribute more, do more, missing family and friends, confusion about our kids' future. All these things.
It was all roses until that time.
But the thing was, we knew what it was. So we didn't even once talk about giving up or heading home. We talked about how much of it was valid and how much was an enemy attack. We prayed, we felt bad, and we jsut waited.
At the end of it, if I can call it a trial by fire, we simply seemed to understand more maturely. More deeply, the work that we have here.
I liken it to a ride at Disneyland.
As a kid, the ride is magic, you don't know how it works and it's fun.
As an adult you understand the mechanics, you don't see the magic, but you appreciate the work put into the ride and enjoy it.
Each way you enjoy it differently. One way you enjoy it, with your eyes open.
That's where we are now.
We are enjoying living here and serving here with our eyes much more open now.
Many people do not get through that wall, and they do go home.
We encountered that while trying to raise support to come here. There was trepidation that we might give up, the statistics show that it happens a large percentage of the time, and a growing percentage with each new generation.
But we haven't yet, I believe we've pushed through that wall, with prayer, drawing close to God, and with the support of friends and family like you.
So now, 5 months later, I look back and am thankful we went through that. I'm thankful we can warn these friends of ours of what is coming, and hopefully prepare them like we were prepared.
God is amazing us daily still! We see his hand at work. I'll blog a story soon about some encouraging aspect of life here.
Until then.. this again was too wordy.. but was a long time in the writing.
God bless and thank you!
