Today I said goodbye to my vhs movie collection. I started it in 1991, in college I used to lend movies to people. As a young kid my mom used to say “you have a gift for remembering movie trivia.” And I did, and I do.
When people ask my hobbies I often say “film”. But I don’t say it with pride, I say it with shame.
When we’re sitting around talking and someone says “you know that guy.. in that one film… who did that thing?” and I quickly reply with all the relevant data. I don’t take joy in that.
Why?
Because I realize that inside my memory is more movie trivia than scripture. Something about “where my treasure is.”
Today as I began to toss out old vhs’s (no one wants them donated) I started to realize the futility of that hobby. This collection, one by one, going into the trash. It became an act of worship as each time I threw out a tape I was sad and then said “God you are more precious than that film.”
It was easy on some of the lame ones, and harder when I got to some of my favorite classics.
I was struck by a sobering thought. I looked at the futility of collecting these movies now on a nearly defunct medium, unloved for years, and finally put into the trash.
I felt sad, as if I had wasted a lot of time and energy.
And the thought that struck me, was this:
I wonder if this is a small fraction of what it would feel like to stand before God on judgement day and realize your entire life was spent chasing the wrong thing.
Lord, I don’t want to chase the wrong things. I know movies aren’t sinful, but I also know they're trifles, not things to be largely concerned with. God help me not to continue the habit of spending too much time on trifles. God give me a consuming fire for your Word. God I know myself and I know I have these moments of clarity that are later overridden by unbroken habits. God help me to break that habit.
Thanks for loving me.