No one ever told me that teaching your kids valuable lessons might be painful to do as a parent. I figured that one out all on my own. That first spanking, hurts you too. That first battle of the wills that you need to win for THEIR own good, creates sad memories.
Those can be expected, but one of the lessons that I wasn't expecting came in a different than usual package.
You expect growing up, that maybe your kids might break a neighbor's window, and you might even be prepared to talk to them about valuing other people's possessions and walk them up to the neighbor and have them promise to pay to repair the broken window. Or some such scenario like that.
But paying for internet that you used up, doesn't really sound like the usual opportunity to teach this lesson.
Nevertheless, it happened.
In PNG, we pay per MB. In reality, in the U.S. you do too, if you use a mobile wifi hotspot like Verizon, or Tmobile or others. You pay overage if you go over the 3gb they give you per/month or whatever the deal is.
I have taught my kids the value of copyright protection. Teaching them to actually BUY the songs they want, because there is no radio AND to pay the download fees for those songs. When my daughter was younger, it nearly broke my heart, she came to me, all of 13 years old with a 5 Kina note and said 'dad how much songs will this buy?'
In reality, 5 Kina would buy her about 1 song. As a dad I was bustling with 2 major emotions (I'm a guy so 2 is a lot) 1. Total pride. She was willing to BUY the song, and 2 total Sadness because I had to tell my daughter the song itself cost 99cents, but the download would cost her another dollar. I wanted to honor her desire to do the right thing, and not just pirate the music, or copy it from someone. Truth be told she didn't even know those were her options. I began looking for legal alternatives to buy the song more affordably. And I was upset that as a missionary kid, one of the things she would have to do with her life would be to pay for downloads. In her Passport country, the internet was basically free to her peers.
Fast forward to 3 weeks ago. We were staying in a place that had a Verizon Wifi Hotspot, and we were warned not to use it up, it only had 3gb available. So we were making an effort to not use it at all. However as we were getting closer to moving, we had several items to take care of that we couldn't do on our phones. (yes I know 1st world problem).
My wife warned my daughter NOT to watch videos (like youtube, etc). But she did anyway. She 'claims' she didn't hear mom's orders. She also claimed she thought she was on the 'other' wifi that was 'free'.
Nevertheless, she over used the internet, and she would have to pay.
She didn't put up much of a fuss, and she went to our host and offered to pay, and we had prepped the host to let her know we wanted our daughter to learn this lesson…. so she tallied the bill and my daughter, bless her heart, was relieved when the bill only came $10, she was relieved, as she was thinking it would cost her hundreds.
Okay, so we taught a lesson. Not sure what it was, was it 'stealing is bad' ? Was it 'using too much internet is bad'? Was it 'pay for your own expenses?'
I'm not sure, but the geek inside of me, and the dad inside of me always boils at the idea that my kids have to pay for internet usage. I get upset. I tend to think that internet is a utility, and my dad never made me pay for electricity or water, and yet my kids have to pay for internet…..
And I get angry about that, high speed low cost internet almost seems like it should be a right! Like free air!
But then, I stop, and calm myself and remember…. that it isn't a right. And that our kids will learn their values and lessons in a new context. We have to teach them to discipline themselves and look away when they come across bad images and adult google results by mistake.
It's a brave new world out there, and while our kids are growing up in it, the parents have to adapt to it, and learn how to do our best given the ever changing technology.
I try to keep up, and I try to help others keep up. And I pray our kids will navigate the cyber-jungle well.
