I have to admit, I was pretty judgmental about 'missionaries' when I met my first few. They have this penny-pinching mentality that I always found off putting. Now however, I understand it. The understanding of it has allowed me to not be judgmental when I see someone try to sell a 1/2 bottle of hair gel online. But I still vowed never to become like that.
And yesterday I had to wonder, have I finally become that guy?
I was fortunate enough to be serving my church and community by working at a bbq grill yesterday with my family. My brother in law pulled out a case of Kirkland polish dogs, opened it slightly, but accidentally dropped it in the dirt. After which he immediately threw it in the garbage.
He wasn't being purposely wasteful, you just can't serve dirty meat to guests, and you can't even be seen to be thinking about washing off the meat, so you have to immediately toss it.
I was stricken by the wastefulness and went to the trash pulled it out and said 'I'll take these home and clean them up.'
I wasn't thinking 'I'll take these home and eat them.' So the saving from the trash wasn't based in gluttony.
But it was at that moment, when I was standing over a trash bin, with a case of hot dogs in my hands that I said 'oh no, I just went into the trash for food.' (I thought up a Seinfeld episode). Have I finally become that penny-pinching guy? Have I uttered the phrase 'these are perfectly good…..'
Yes, admittedly I think I have. It was confirmed today when I was trying to find a place for my pens, and instead of paying $1 at the dollar store for a 'pen holder' I cut the lid off a water bottled, dropped a few rocks in it, and that was my pen holder.
When we moved in on Saturday, we ordered a pizza, and I didn't want to throw away the pizza box because it was 'perfectly usable cardboard'. I in fact padded the table legs with pieces I cut off the pizza box so it wouldn't scratch the floor.
I had this sudden realization "OH NO!!!! I'm one of them!!!!"
My grandmother was a WWII bride. If you know one, you know the penny-pinching, saving, never let anything go to waste mentality that it brings with it. For me, that thinking has a bit of a twist. I had to sit and ponder why I had become what I have become. How did I go from a guy who would rather not bother with the effort it takes to save items, and store them, and turn them into something useful, .. someone who would throw stuff away and produce a lot of trash….. to someone who has a hard time throwing anything away before thinking about how it can be used differently?
I've figured it out I think.
Here's why:
-In Papua New Guinea, when we put trash out, it is gone through with a fine tooth comb by wandering nationals who often find useful things in our trash. Therefore I try not to throw out anything that our PNG friends would find useful, instead, we gift them to our PNG friends. This helps us avoid being oblivious to their needs, avoid looking like super wasteful people, and gives us the opportunity to turn our rubbish into something nice.
-In PNG, things are hard to come by. You have to improvise a lot. You never want to be hit with the thought 'oh I could have fixed this leaky gutter if I had only not thrown away that scrap of sheet metal I had". I can't tell you how many times I've converted some piece of trash into a useful tool. It's been a lot. I've repaired many a household item with scrap I refused to throw away.
-What I may want to toss out, may be the exact same thing someone else is wishing they could get a hold of. I often am offering scraps, hinges, nails, screws, switches, etc… to friends who need it. Why throw out the entire iron when all you need is a new switch for it? I have a switch here I saved from an older broken blender someone through out. It is a bit of a scrounging mentality.
-Having lived in PNG for a long while, you get used to not having new and nice things, and so our standard of living is lower, and thus, much more affordable. When you live on support, you value the money you get because you know it's given to you by people who work hard for it and have to choose to sacrifice when they give some of it to you. So, we don't need a nice new dress, when a used dress at a thrift store will suffice. It makes when we get new things, a very special treat.
The reality is, now I have a freezer full of Kirkland hot dogs. It is a $14.99 value. Some of you might say 'man $15 that's nothing.' But it isn't just the money, it's the idea that someone went through a lot of effort to produce those, shelve them, sell them.
I think pretty much the whole country is on board now with being less wasteful. California is trying to waste less water, there are recycling bins everywhere, we're making less plastic shopping bags, etc. The reality is however, that not everyone is willing to go dumpster diving, to accomplish the goals of conservation. In fact, it is illegal in many states.
And so I think about myself, and the transformation. And I realize that I shouldn't feel shame. And though I would love the opportunity to share these dogs with my neighbors and make new friends, I don't think I will, only because I feel like maybe they might not like where they came from (-;
