Things in life were pretty hectic, I had no plans of playing banjo at
our biennial talent night because I simply had too much to worry about.
Getting on stage and performing makes me nervous. Well, admittedly it
made me more nervous back at the first time I did it. But this community
is so welcoming to everyone that the love and applause you get from
doing even a mediocre job is enormous. Not to mention that the banjo is
fun, even when played poorly.
Last year I did a complicated act that had me dueling banjos with my
laptop playing my dueling opponent through Garageband. As a joke, I had
configured my laptop to CRASH in the middle of the performance, which
was a brainstorm that came to me when I was trying to figure out how to
work in a banjo solo into a song that was too short. During the act on
the screen people saw my computer cycling through garageband and hearing
it battle me, playing banjo live. RIGHT in the middle a big blue screen
of death shows up and the laptop goes silent while I continue picking on
live... and then I look down at the laptop in mock surprise... and try
to FIX it. Which is funny because I was the CTS computer guy. As a
result I end up KICKING my laptop which gets it back to going RIGHT on
cue, and the song finales with the final banjo dueling end.
It was funny, entertaining, surprising, and the next day everyone asked
2 questions 'Wait, that was a MAC, but the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH is a PC
thing!?" and "was that planned or did that really happen?"
I loved that it was funny, and surprising and also that it was this
enigma that people were left wondering about.
I wanted to do something like that THIS year... and during my times over
the past 2 years of plinking around, I always thought 'oh this would be
fun to do'. So there was a long series of things I COULD have done. I
let my imagination run.
I was thinking of doing a sort of thing involving a video screen that my
friend Matthew got popular on youtube with doing... I had a long list
of ideas.
And then I decided not to do anything at all, because I was too busy.
9 days ago someone said 'you going to play your banjo again this year
right?!' Folks remembered my act from 2 years ago. More than once
people commented on looking forward to it, and rehashing my old act to
me in fond memory.
I remembered why I perform.
My acts are geared to be entertaining and funny, because laughter
lightens the heart and brings people together. We do this concert every
2 years because every 2 years ALL the in country members come together,
seeing each other all TOGETHER only happens every 2 years. We discuss
heavy topics. Lightening our hearts is helpful, but also anything that
joins us as a community is important because we get to see each other
ALL TOGETHER so rarely.
So... I decided to do an act, but because of the amount of stress and
work, to make it simple.
Which translated into 'not rehearsing much' and 'not worrying much'.
I typically can't sleep for days before a gig, as my brain is trying to
process the BEST way to do something. So what was the best way to do a
good banjo bit without the hours of preparation and stress? I simply
couldn't afford to invest any time into this.
As I was filtering through my list I had prepared over the years, a
totally new idea hit me... and honestly until I performed it, I was
wondering if I would get a laugh at all.
One idea was doing an homage to the smother's brothers 'streets of
laredo'.... but as I was rehearsing that, I found a new song and a new
idea.. what if I just totally failed my act on purpose? It might be
funny, and it might be easy to rehearse. My buddy said 'dude, how do
you come up with this stuff?' I was worried the rubiks cube bit would
flop.. but it didn't.
This is the final act I performed, but I had 2 other acts completely
rehearsed before switching last minute to this. This is possibly the
LEAST rehearsed I had ever been, but apparently the funniest too.
What came out was 1/2 rehearsed, 1/2 ad libbed.
I come on to stage and sit with my banjo in my lap and pick through
Cripple Creek and improvise a little picking then stop suddenly.
"Hi, my name is Chad Owens, and as the man said, I play banjo."
pick some more...stop
"Tonight, I am going to attempt to do something.... never
before....ah...attempted. I AM going to try to do 2 things at once."
(unexpected laughter).
"I am going to attempt to solve THIS 12 sided rubiks cube, while
simultaneously playing the banjo." (ooh!/laughter)
"I need a young volunteer from the front to come mix this up.. you come
on up"
"okay mix this up really good" (I shake my head to be opposite of what
I'm saying.. as in 'no not really don't mix it up good')
"give it a lot of turns (whisper: like maybe one or two. don't...)
while he is mixing it up, I pick some banjo.. but then say um.... 'yeah
that's pretty good there..... okay about finished?.... wow.. great
job... okay... maybe one more turn... and.....' (this gets a lot of
laughs as it's obvious I don't want him to mix it up really good at all)
The kid finally hands me the cube, I say 'wow, good job, you're really
good at mixing things up... you have a career in politics ahead of
you.." the crowd half laughs, but then I give a PA DUM TA drum hit on my
banjo and the rest of the crowd then joins the laugh.
"Okay, here I go."
What proceeds that, is my picking, and every time I hit an open chord,
my left hand grabs the cube and gives a twist. The song starts quickly,
but slows down whenever I'm twisting the cube. I ham this up really
well... the song lags more and more.. and at one point completely stops
as I use my right hand, I even accidentally drop the cube and have to
pick it up.
The crowd is dying. I'm feeling so good that this is working.... but
the coup de gras is coming up.. will they laugh?
I finally pick so slow and stop and look at it... deciding not to milk
the gag... and simply say 'WELL.... THAT didn't work!'
The crowd loses it. I mean roars of laughter.
I suddenly feel really good, like I have this crowd in my hands... and
so I make a few more jokes, get more laughs... self deprecating stuff
like...
"I don't know why I thought that would work.... (laughter) it didn't
work in rehearsal either..... I dunno, I thought.. maybe the adrenaline
of being on stage.... might give me super powers... "
and
"Son, you'll have to solve this for me when we get home."
and
"you should have seen my try to pick banjo and play the yo yo at the
same time....I broke a few windows".
between each joke, I'm picking banjo, keeping the flow.
the audience is laughing, I'm feeling good, I begin to improvise a bit
more picking... then suddenly stop.
WELL... in an attempt to recover from that fiasco... I think I'll do
another thing I've never done before, I'm going to sing and play banjo
at the same time.
But to help me in that, please welcome to the stage my good friend,
"Mister Andrew Koens."
Now what the crowd doesn't know, is that I'm about to hit them with the
FUNNY part. The rubiks bit was a warm up for this bit. But they think
'it's Chad, so that was his joke' They were expecting me to make a
joke, so they assumed I had and this was going to be a serious song.
They didn't expect I had another gag.
Andrew, a guy my size, comes out, he has incredible stage presence. He
sits without a word. I set up the gag
"This is a ballad, a ballad is a story put to music, and some of you may
know the chorus, so feel free to sing along,.... this one is for the
kids, but I warn you, it's a little bit scary".
I proceeded to play the song "Ghost Chickens in the Sky" which is a
parody of "Ghost Riders in the Sky" same tune.
Only instead of "yippy kai yay! yippy kai yo oh oh.." as the chorus,...
Andrew was going to cluck like a chicken.
Remember, people are thinking this might be a serious song... until they
hear the lyrics.
They're all waiting for Andrew to sing.... but he doesn't... he
clucks... and I mean he put his heart and soul into it. And he was
hilarious.
The crowd completely lost it. I mean... they fell apart... people were
running for the bathroom, it was hilarious.
I played the straight man to Andrew's chicken and let him go. The
hardest thing for me was I was singing the lyrics baritone while playing
banjo AND trying hard to be super dramatic, and NOT laugh. The dry look
on our faces ... sold the bit.
Ghost Chickens in the Sky
(To the tune of "Ghost Riders in the Sky")
A chicken Farmer went out one dark and windy day
And by the coop he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a rotten egg hit him in the eye
It was the sight he dreaded, ghost chickens in the sky
Squawk cluck, squawk cluck
Ghost chickens in the sky
This farmer had these chickens since he was twenty four,
Working for the Colonel for thirty years or more
Killing all theses chickens and sending them to fry.
And now they want revenge, ghost chickens in the sky.
Squawk cluck, squawk cluck
Ghost chickens in the sky
Their beaks were black and shining their eyes were burning red
They had no meat or feathers these chickens were dead.
They picked the farmer up and he died by the claw
They cooked him extra crispy, (pause) and ate him with coleslaw.
Squawk cluck, squawk cluck
Ghost chickens in the sky
=======
I had a blast doing this, and I enjoyed even more making people laugh
and forget their woes for 10 minutes. The rest of the concert I was
amazed at the talents God has given this body of people. Our dentist
was an accomplish musician and has a wonderful singing voice. He is
korean, but he played a John Denver song in English, and it was
beautiful. Story telling, comedy, dancing, a band. The Other concert
is about highlighting the fact that God has blessed us with talents to
bless each other with. We are diverse group of people who from time to
time, get to use our other giftings to benefit each other. It is a good
time for my soul because it reminds me of that, of God's splendor, His
variety, His wonder. When we employ these gifts for the purpose of
building each other up, wonderful things happen. And we do that daily,
but this concert we do every two years, is meant to see that side of
people we RARELY see, and it's a wonderful gift to behold.
A big thanks to my buddy Andrew who was hilarious in his role, and
really sold the bit.
-Chad
